80KG!

I should have posted this a couple of days ago but I was too busy (lazy). I’ve finally reached 80kg, which is a big deal for me. I haven’t been this weight in a long time because I always give up around now. I feel pretty amazing. I am still eating a plant-based diet and it seems to be going really well. I have noticed my skin has cleared up and I just feel cleaner.

Things are also looking up socially. I feel much more confident and more like myself. People are starting to notice the change and it feels good. But here’s something that is really pissing me off and make me happy at the same time. NOTHING FITS! I am to poor to buy new clothes so I have to wear gym clothes everywhere. I feel like the girls in that “active wear” video. I went out on Saturday night and wore a dress that was meant to be flowy and a bit oversized but it looked like I was wearing a moo moo. It’s a problem that I’m happy putting up with. So here is my next weight loss shot.

80kg

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Current Weight: 80kg!

Plant Based Power

Ok so it’s been three days since going vegan and I feel GREAT! I have been doing a more high carb low fat diet to feel full during the day and it’s working. I have always been wary of the carbs I was eating before because they were mostly processed carbs like bread and cereal. I’m amazed at the energy I have. I went to the gym last night and I felt like I could have gone for hours and hours. Also if you want to follow me on Instagram I will be posting what I’m to and what I’m eating.

Instagram @joellevblack

This was breakfast today. It was rice milk oats with banana and cinnamon topped with more banana and blueberries. YUM!!!

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This was lunch yesterday. I was a potato with simple salad of spinach, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms and avocado. Delish

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Current Weight: 81kg

Crisis Averted

Ok all is good in the world and my body sorted itself out. I dropped the weight that magically appeared. I think my metabolism decided to go on strike. Looking back now I’m not so angry. I think the weekend that it happened I was ate a lot of crappy food that was full of salt. So I was probably holding a bunch of water. What ever happened it has shocked my metabolism and I’m loosing weight again so I’m happy.

This is my favourite cow pic. I like to collect them. I’m not joking.

Also this week I’ve been dabbling with the notion of going vegan. I’ve never mentioned this before but I’ve been a vegetarian for the past 9 months. I initially decided to go vegetarian out of guilt. I came to a realisation that I have no right to eat an animal if I couldn’t kill the animal. I couldn’t kill a cow they are too cute, I couldn’t kill a chicken they are too funny, I couldn’t kill a pig they are to smart and I couldn’t kill a fish because the ocean needs them more than I do.

What I’ve been doing is gradually taking away/replacing the dairy and eggs in my diet. The biggest struggle is actually with my best friend. I love her to bits don’t get me wrong but she isn’t the most supportive person in the world. She hates the notion of me being vegan because it means we can’t eat out anywhere she likes anymore. She was only just tolerating my vegetarianism so this will be interesting.

I will try to take photos of my food and make a blog next week of what I eat in a day.

Current Weight: 81.5kg

GOD DAMMIT!

I’m pissed off. So in my last post I mentioned that I was close to being under 80kg. Well not anymore. My metabolism is seriously f***ing with me. I had a bad food day recently when I went to the beach with a friend. Anyway I got on the scales the next day and I nearly wanted to scream. I had jumped to 85kg! How is that even possible to gain 4kg in 3 days? My plateau has turned into a gain. Here is a list of the possible reasons that I have come up with to explain this phenomenon:

  • Ate a million calories
  • Eating to much salt
  • Maybe it’s nearly shark week (period)
  • Hibernation season
  • Muscle gain
  • Subconscious dream to be a BBW
  • Sleep eating
  • My body is on strike and refusing to poop

My Reaction When I Stood On The Scales

My weight dropped to 83.5kg today but I’m still super angry. I guess it just means that I have to work that much harder. This is the reason I stopped at this point all the other times. Because it got hard and I got frustrated. I’m not going to quit this time.

Current weight: 83.5kg 😡

Getting Close

So it’s starting to get to a really tough time in my journey. A bit of background, every time I have gone to lose weight I always seem to get to where I am now (80-82kg) and stop or give up. I have absolutely no intention of doing that this time. I am so excited to be under 80kg it’s insane.

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At my heaviest (94kg 2011)

The last time I lost a significant amount of weight it was 2011 and I had just turned 19. I was at my heaviest at 94kg and living a pathetic life.I started eating right and training and I got down to 80kg I think I might have hit 79kg but I’m not sure. So needless to say I haven’t been in the 70’s since I was 15 I think. I have completely forgotten what my body looks like at that weight. I’m so pumped. I’m hoping to get under it in 2 weeks. But right now I’m working my way through a plateau that is seriously testing me. I think that is what happened all the other times I lost weight. It started to get really hard and I gave up. NOT THIS TIME!

Get ready world a 70kg something lady is coming for you.

When I get to 80kg I will be sure to take a new progress pic. Because the changes are starting to become visible.

Current weight: 81kg

Balls and Barf A Winning Combo

Hello old friend. So what’s been happening? I feel like not a lot. I’ve hit a slump and I’m currently working my way out of it.

So last week I went to my first Uni ball. It started great. I had the best time getting ready. I got my dress from ASOS and was feeling amazing.

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Lets start with my first mistake. During the day I was nervous for some reason and I didn’t eat a lot before I went out. I also assumed they would be serving vegetarian food. I was wrong. Mistake number two, when I got there I was super anxious ( I honestly have no idea why, I’m usually a mega extrovert and being around new people is exciting) so I thought it would be a great idea to have 3 glasses of sparkling wine that they were pouring for free. This stupidity continued for ages. I lost track of how many drinks I was having. The last thing I remember I was talking to a friend and the next thing I’m outside without my bag completely confused. A lovely kind group of girls helped me out and called my phone. Thank the lord my best friend had it. So she came out and called my brother. Then I black out. But here is a list of the stuff I did.

  • Ran out into traffic to hail cabs we didn’t need
  • Made out with a guy (no idea who)
  • I sung a beautiful rendition of Nena’s 99 Luftballons. The German version might I add.
  • Went through a McDonalds Drive through and didn’t get anything (I’m proud of this one)
  • Then I puked in the drive through
  • Then puked around the corner from the McDonalds
  • Told some concerned girls to “F*** OFF B****ES” (not proud of that one)
  • Charged up the stairs and passed out in my bed after undressing myself and brushing my teeth.

And I did this in a full-length ball gown and 6 inch platform heels. I deserve an award or something. Also the calories in one glass of sparkling wine are around 90cals and I had around 12 or more so around 1080 calories. That is nearly a whole days worth of food for one night of weakness. Not to mention the absolute crap I ate the next day to make myself feel better. Which would have been around the 2000+ mark. So needless to say I’m still recovering emotionally and physically from that debacle. I am so glad that there are no after pictures of me in that state. THANK YOU JESUS! I mean this seriously I’m never going to drink like that again.

Current weight 82kg

Bulimia is a Bitch

Ok so this week has been all over the place and I have fallen into old patterns and I feel like writing down my make me stop ignoring it and face it. So in my life I’ve done some pretty stupid shit to lose weight but when I was around 15 I made the dumbest mistake. So I went vegan with my friends to lose weight after we all read a book called Skinny Bitch. One night my brother ordered a bacon pizza from dominos and he offered me a piece. I said no but he kept pushing me and convincing me. So I had a slice. After about ten minutes this wave of guilt just came over me. Guilt for eating meat and cheese and guilt for eating shitty food. I felt like I had eaten poison and I had to get it out. So I went into the shower and made myself vomit. After I did it it was like something clicked in my head. Kind of like my mind said I could eat what ever I wanted and just get away with it.

I had my 23rd birthday this week and I’m still not over this stupid thing. I feel like every time I get me shit together and try to lose weight the right way ie eating healthy and exercise I fuck it up eat something “bad” get guilty and start all over again. This has gone on for eight years.

This week of all weeks has been the worst in a long time. even on the day of night of my birthday I was considering purging the slice of cake I ate. MY BIRTHDAY CAKE! Tonight was another bad night. I knew I would have the house to myself so I ordered a pizza got some chocolate and candy and ate it…all of it. I did it incrementally whilst drinking a lot of water. I vomited around four times. I still feel like I didn’t get it all out. But in my mind I keep saying to myself that I will just go really hard at the gym tomorrow. But I know full well that tomorrow I’m going to be lethargic and tired. So in turn I will start dieting really strict again and I will probably have another fuck up and just start the cycle again.

I’m out of control.

Current Weight: 84kg