Look Out World

So I’m aware that I do this a lot but there is something about this year that I feel excited about. 2016 was a bit of a shit show to be honest. I started the year off by getting really sick and reverting to old habits that lasted. I “indulged” because I thought I deserved it. I was literally making myself feel worse and worse periodically because I was working hard (even though I wasn’t). 2016 also saw one of my most lazy years yet. When I say lazy I mean I put little to no effort into anything in my life. I didn’t have a passion or a drive. My everyday life just felt like gong through the motions and I became complacent.I stopped blogging, lost touch with friends, was reckless and was secretly depressed.

I have an idea of what it may stem from but it’s hard to say. I’m at a funny point in my life where all my friends are moving on getting jobs and having babies and getting married and just basically getting their shit together. Then here I am feeling stuck. I’m 3 years into a 4 year uni course with no money, boyfriend and a crappy part time job. I think I convinced myself that this would last forever. That I would always be “that” friend. But in 2017 I feel a little different. This year I hope to graduate. Something that a lot of my family said I would never do. I finally get to go on stage and get to wear the cap and gown and grab that piece of paper that says I DID IT! IN YOUR FACE! Anyway with that motivation I also hope to get some other things in order, like my health. In 2016 I put on around 6kg. I went from being 74kg to being very close to 80kg (basically 79.9kg.) But I remembered not to long ago how bloody hard I worked to get under 80kg. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. And I promised myself I would never go back and I plan to keep that promise.

So here it is in black and white. My goal for this year is to walk up on that stage in my cap and gown feeling damn fine about myself. I want to get that picture of me holding my degrees and be proud of it. I don’t want to crop it or edit it. I just want the world to see that I did it. I believe I’m ready for this last chapter of uni and the first chapter of my life in the big wide world. Look out world here I come!

Current Weight: 78kg

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